What happeneed

What fucking happened

How I changed

I grew thin

I shriveled 

I caved

Did you think you were that high

That mighty

That light,

No weight

That I could hold you up forever and not grow tired

I don't think you even realized you cast a shadow

But now I am lazy, I don't handle you like I used to

So you get angry and you get mad

But I'm still lazy still tired

So I don't care

Every now and sometimes again

I lift you slightly 

I care for your cries

And you smile again for a while

But it never lasts 

Because I can't be bothered to hold it

So I have changed 

My patience has all worn out

And I do carry you but only when I want to

So if I am what you want,

Be thankful for the time,

I promise you'll be in good company,

Demand it and I'll finished it.

Life as a Lake

I lay
I stretch out after rain
And soon after I drain
I am unclean and unclear.

Dark wood surrounds me
I've never seen through
The other side and in the middle
Are thing 'ever new.

The questions are sometimes taken away
A wildfire plays around
Dying wood, but no one to hear the sound
I wait for rain, night and day.

My bordering rocks soon become a bed
We have an intense relationship in my head
I wear them down, but they still stay
I'm grateful, without them I wash away.

I'm on the bottom of the planet
Everything casts a shadow over me
I have a large face, but am shallow set,
On the bottom, but I reflect the top.

My girl face

I sit in a warm room

In a cold place

Where mountain shadows shade me

I fondly recall that time

I bled in your bed

You called me beautiful

I cried

While you fell asleep

 I wiped my eyes alone,
With a disgust for what lay between my legs.

We tried to clean your sheets the next day,

The machine had no power button
We didn't really know what we were doing

My cheeks still get hot

My stomach pit still cool
I wrote a poem so that

I bask now in an announced shame.

Germany almost got it right. 

Ain't been showering for days
and I ain't gonnu
cause baby, I'm off it, I'm clean.

I want to protect you

That sucked

That hurt,

That hurts

I umm, I listened,

I heard things I didn't want to

She loves me I know

But sometimes she sucks,

To tell me about work

To say it, name it,

Box it,

Imply damage

Tell me of hardships

But one needs a hardship to sail rough seas,

So I'm not accepting

I thought of my self as accepting,

But I won't have words against it

I won't listen to her 

I don't want it

I won't accept it

Because to accept it as she says

Is to go against what I want

To trust what I don't want to

What did she know?

She has been wrong before,

She can be wrong again

So instead

I'll accept my chances

I know they are chances

I know my head

And I'll bet on it

I'll trust my intuition instead.