My girl face

I sit in a warm room

In a cold place

Where mountain shadows shade me

I fondly recall that time

I bled in your bed

You called me beautiful

I cried

While you fell asleep

 I wiped my eyes alone,
With a disgust for what lay between my legs.

We tried to clean your sheets the next day,

The machine had no power button
We didn't really know what we were doing

My cheeks still get hot

My stomach pit still cool
I wrote a poem so that

I bask now in an announced shame.

Germany almost got it right. 

Ain't been showering for days
and I ain't gonnu
cause baby, I'm off it, I'm clean.

I want to protect you

That sucked

That hurt,

That hurts

I umm, I listened,

I heard things I didn't want to

She loves me I know

But sometimes she sucks,

To tell me about work

To say it, name it,

Box it,

Imply damage

Tell me of hardships

But one needs a hardship to sail rough seas,

So I'm not accepting

I thought of my self as accepting,

But I won't have words against it

I won't listen to her 

I don't want it

I won't accept it

Because to accept it as she says

Is to go against what I want

To trust what I don't want to

What did she know?

She has been wrong before,

She can be wrong again

So instead

I'll accept my chances

I know they are chances

I know my head

And I'll bet on it

I'll trust my intuition instead.