Myhead at 10

Sometimes I think I'm a waste
I'm an unappreciative fuck
That was a wasteful attempt of a child
Sometimes I think about killing myself everyday
I fantasies if I had enough guts
If I had enough guts I do it now.
Tomorrow, yesterday years earlier
And I see how I always have these thoughts
Because one day we all die
Why waste time in-between
The most effective way to live
To help the world as much as you can, don't be one person
Be no person
Don't adopt, breed, live and inspire,
Kill and die too.
Sometimes I'm happy and I look down to where I sit now and think, I'd still give this up for death
I find my future hard because I don't see a point
Make a difference, well if your not around someone else will make it
I think who started certain things,
How did it get so big, become so popular?
well maybe people saw it and copied,
Maybe two people both did it, and people just followed..
Maybe someone did it, with out ever seeing that other person's and so it still counts
As originality..
But basically I wish someone would give me
That universal purpose that everyone had
That simplicity in life
That goal
That sort of happiness
But I don't,
I was born with not a loathing
I've never done much wrong,
It is a general lack of anything
Of everything

White Rabbit Hole.

That feeling you
get when you realize
that
Time has changed.

A picture
from five Years.
you are You.
But not

That same face
with those thoughts
behind it
anymore.

It also causes my
Stomach to rise and make rest
in the ceiling of my caged
insides.

Buttered flies crawl out
from the wound
the collision
caused.

Time changed,
and nothing need be changed
but I have
for the worst and that is sad.

A mindful of the mindless

I'm an idiot. When

One and one sit in 

front of me

I leave them as one and

one. 

I think one day 

One day.

When I'm grown up

I'll make two but I'm just 

Such an idiot.

I'm hoping I'll see when

I want. I'm hoping I'll 

have 

Courage, to say no,

say yes.

I have no confidence, 

Unknown insecurities

Indecisive.

i write what I know,

so I should

Not write anything

Ever

at all

One and one.

Stay segregated.

Like a love 

story. But I

want one and one.

Lazy mannered.

Nothing was and is

Easier.

Nicole leaves soon

Nicole leaves for two months on Saturday. I won't see her until her return.
All of my friends leave for the summer soon.

Maybe I should try harder